Then along came the Lovely Other Dinosaur.
The Lovely Other Dinosaur melted the Dinosaur’s cage with kind words and loving thoughts.
I like this Dinosaur thought the Lovely Other Dinosaur.
Although he is fierce he is also tender and he is funny.
He is also quite clever though I will not tell him this for now.
I like this Lovely Other Dinosaur, thought the Dinosaur. She is beautiful and she is different and she smells so nice.
She is also a free spirit which is a quality I much admire in a dinosaur.
But he can be so distant and so peculiar at times, thought the Lovely Other Dinosaur.
He is also overly fond of things.
Are all Dinosaurs so overly fond of things?
But her mind skips from here to there so quickly thought the Dinosaur. She is also uncommonly keen on shopping.
Are all Lovely Other Dinosaurs so uncommonly keen on shopping?
I will forgive his peculiarity and his concern for things, thought the Lovely Other Dinosaur. For they are part of what makes him a richly charactered individual.
I will forgive her skipping mind and her fondness for shopping, thought the Dinosaur. For she fills our life with beautiful thoughts and wonderful surprises. Besides, I am not unkeen on shopping either.
Now the Dinosaur and the Lovely Other Dinosaur are old.
Look at them.
Together they stand on the hill telling each other stories and feeling the warmth of the sun on their backs.
And that, my friends, is how it is with love.
Let us all be Dinosaurs and Lovely Other Dinosaurs together.
For the sun is warm.
And the world is a beautiful place.
(A Lovely Love Story, by Edward Monkton)
This was the children's book that my best friend read during my wedding ceremony. Between our individual vows and the vows we recited as a couple (and I stumbled over) and the call-and-answer vows from our families and friends. Our pastor forgot my last name and said a circle had 365 degrees, I forgot the vows...everything about the ceremony made me giggle and roll my eyes except the short story of two dinosaurs.
When Jenn got to the bit about the dinosaurs being old together, I came very close to choking up. In that moment I knew I wasn't standing on my grandparents' patio under a rented arbor draped with quickly wilting honeysuckles, in front of a shower curtain to serve as a background for pictures, wearing a dress I picked only because it fit on the first try....I was actually just standing with my husband, the person who I knew would be half of myself until I no longer existed. Nothing else mattered, I was home.
"And that, my friends, is how it is with love."
For all this.. for all the happy housewife blogging I did this year, for all the love and comfort and security I felt in my marriage...it wasn't enough. What the dinosaurs failed to mention is that sometimes how it is with love is one sided. I spent a great majority of the past year staring directly at my husband thinking I was seeing my own future, while-unknown to me-he was looking in a different direction. So it goes.
I've been a wreck since September. A waif, a whisper, just an idea of what I used to be. Not even a year a half..we didn't even make it through my 24th birthday. We married too young, maybe, but we certainly ended it way too quickly for me. I feel like I've crammed at least three lifetimes into the years before most people even meet someone they consider spending their lives with. I met my person and I know even now that it was right for me. However- that lovely person I knew...well...I think he's gone, replaced with a stranger who I remain unsure of. I don't even know that I'm not a stranger to myself, come to think of it.
It's almost Christmas. So the sun is not warm, and the world looks desolate and asleep. Everything feels...wrong. And I feel certain nothing will be right for a very long time.
But there's always one of the most beautiful words in existence to look forward to...